Describe your self as a teammate: Absolutely indispensable—Mostly for morale, partly for comic relief and entirely because someone has to be designated the “ratard” for when the the wheels come off (#teamplayer). But I bring booze and snacks to compensate for my many short comings. And I am 100% in for team outfits (Yah Gay). 

Sexiest Trait: My unshakable confidence standing on the tee box with a driver I have absolutely no business swinging. For those lucky enough to witness it, my pre-swing 15 waggle routine will be the biggest panty dropping experience of your life (All credit to the Acrop in PDX). Bonus…this also attracts the cart girl. You are welcome mother fuckers.

Dream (golf) Foursome: John Daley (absolute legend, probably already pre-funking), Tiger Woods (to be my pill man and post round driver), the dangerously overqualified bikini barista from Bombshellz Expresso on Welsian way in Richland (because she runs the tee box like its her personal empire and scares me in ways I respect) and me (for being bold enough to play Kirkland Signature balls).

Coolest Sports Achievement: Pretty sure I dominated tetherball in elementary school. Might have peaked early, but I was pretty awesome back then (Go Edmonds Elementary Orca’s).

Clutch Rating (1-10): A rock solid 5. I either pull off something heroic or absolutely shit the bed and implode like a cheap lawn chair. Booze doesnt help…but it makes it funnier

A or M: A, cause I have never done that before (HA)

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